10 Signs That I'm More American Than I Realized

After visiting Mississauga and Toronto, Canada, for several days, and getting a general feel for the country, I realized that Buffalo rubbed off on me much more than I thought.  I actually found myself missing certain concepts and items that make me feel proud to be an American.  I also experienced a culture shock from some Canadian eccentricities. Here's a compiled list of 10 items that made me realize how much I missed my good ol' wing-eatin, shorts-wearin-year-round Buffalo, the city of good neighbors.

1.  The use of 1 and 2 dollar coins. (I still can't figure out a difference between a nickel and dime, for God's sake, and you throw those at me??)
2.  Lack of crime. (Toronto and Mississauga are among the safest cities in Canada, although I did see a handcuffed man led by the police from the Toronto Subway.)
3.  No ghetto.  (At least not in Downtown, but even after searching online, I couldn't find any.)
4.  No Canadian rap or hiphop.  (Justin Bieber, anyone? Puhleez!)
5.  White middle-class suburban ghetto chic wear.  (See #4. Puhleez put da hood back in da hoodie.)
6.  Lack of spoken and/or unaccented English.  (You can't even fathom how frustrating it is not to be able to eavesdrop on people's conversations.)
7.  No rednecks. (Nope. No gun-toting, flannel-shirted, mullet-sprouting, mustachioed men, I looked.)
8.  Forming a polite patient single file queue to board a streetcar. (Seriously???!!!)
9.  No Buffalo Bills or Saber's jackets with shorts and sneakers. (Darn, I missed the Buffalo uniform.)
10.  No fat people.  (I saw only ONE morbidly obese lady WALKING, not riding a cart, in all three days in Canada.)

All in all, I wouldn't be able to live in Canada, because it's too safe, too civilized, and too clean. Even the graffiti looked very polished and happy.  There was no angst, no struggle for the pursuit of happiness, because most people looked pretty relaxed and happy already.  No one looked like they just lost a house, or a job, or were diagnosed with a horrible disease and couldn't afford healthcare.  Maybe it's because they have FREE healthcare system?

No, I definitely couldn't live in a country like that, with no problems and cheery disposition.  Life would be way too boring.